Cabin Feveror Psychosis

Day Five of the "illness". JIllian was really so much better today and could have, should have returned to the gym. But her head hurt all morning and into the afternoon, and I was sure that go upside down would be the worst thing for that headache, so I allowed her to stay at home.

Sad part is, I didn't forgive her. I wanted her to be begging to return to the gym. I know I have about lost patience with everything being cooped up here for so many days. But she seemed content to watch another segment of SpongeBob Squarepants and I finally had to put a ban on TV this afternoon to save what was left of my nerves.

But the worst part was that I admitted to her my disappointment that she cared so little about missing gym training. Granted, she has been doing gymnastics since before she could walk, so a few days off is more of a novelty than learning a double twising layout. But it irritates me to the core that she cannot see the forest for the trees in her life. She is an 11 year old Level 8 gymnast. There are less than 500 in the country like her. By next year there will be less than 300. And the numbers keep dropping. If she will stay with this sport, she will rise to the top of the pack and gain noteriety from many directions.

But what are her dreams? I have plenty for her that I would be glad to give, even wrapped in shiny paper with gold curly ribbon. She would be wise to persue a career with Cirque du Soleil even if it took her years to get on with them. She is a performer at heart and would love that lifestyle. No wait, maybe it is me that would love that lifestyle. What if my daughter decides to be an accountant and wear pumps instead of traveling barefooted through life? Of course I will still love her. Love has no boundaries for us. But disappointment and despair can cut so deeply that the blood leaves behind stains that see and see and see.

I want her to be free, but not without tools and maps. I want her to do what she loves, but to love what she is doing right now. And I most of all want her to learn somethng from me, as all the others have failed to do. I have held on too long to the idea that with this child it could be different.

Tomorrow she will return to the gym. For that first horrible day after sickness when the coach says he will be easy on her, but seems to also want to punish her for staying home sick. I will watch a little, until I can leave satisfied that she is getting back in her groove. And I'll pray that she will come home in a cloud of breathless laughter and tell me that all is well in the Kingdom of Giants and that she was Spectactular in her own way. I can't wait for that tomorrow to come.

If it's October, it must be strep

Every October through March since Jilly was born she has been sick....repeated sinus, ear and throat infections have kept her resistance low and my sanity questionable. It is hard to train as a serious athelete if you run a feer once week.

Today she has a fever, sore throat, stuffy head and stomach ache. Tomorrow she has an early morning doctor's appointment. We know the drill by now. Her coaches were afraid this would happen again.

She was supposed to get her new floor routine tomorrow. It will probably have to wait now. But I"m not going to let this bring me down too much. We will keep our eyes on the bigger picture, the fuller meaning, and try to remember that the lost days won't matter in the long run.

My goal: Try to find out a way to prevent strep from reoccuring!

A Sport Revisted

I lost my way for a while and I'm amazed that there has actually been progress. I stopped writing here last Spring. Jillian went on to have an awesome Level 7 season. The best of her life. But the pressure her coaches were under drove them to impatience and ultimately drove her away. She took a break from training. Then she realized she missed the sport terribly and returned, at the encouragement of a gentle coach we knew from another gym. After a time, she realized she missed the training that her previous coach had given. The Chinese have a beautiful style of training and it is a good fit for Jilly's body and her mind.

So in June 2005 we returned to the gym and the coaches where I am certain she will continue her gymnastics training for as long and as to whatever level is her destiny.

Jillian is now just turned 11, and training Level 8, with plans to compete her first meet in January. There are some uncertainties about this, but for now I'm hoping for the best, and I will fill in details as they come.

Beam is her best event and she has all the skills she needs and a dramatic routine. Right now her routine includes BHS-Wolf Jump connection, Tick Tock Back Hand Spring connection, A Press Handstand Mount, and a layout dismount.

Floor is also a chance for her to shine. She is getting a new routine next week for Level 8. Her new music is "The Gods Must Be Crazy" from the movie by the same name. Her tumbling passes will include Round Off-Back Handspring-Back Layout with a Full Twist, Round Off-BHS, BLO, and then a Front Salto, and another pass of RO BHS BLO half twist or 1.5 twist. Not sure how it will go. I'll know more about it next week.

Bars is still a good event for her. Right now it is difficult because she is trying to fix some bad habits she developed at the other gym. There are some rough days. She thinks she needs new grips so I"ll look into that tonight. But for now, she is doing as many series of as close to ten giants in a row with good form as she is able. Beyond that, she still needs a release move to satisfy the requirements for Level 8. And her dismount might stay a layout flyaway or it might change to a double back if she can do it.

Vault is her biggest challenge. Especially at this level. She needs a new vault. Right now she is working Yurchenko drills and while it might take years to get this skill, her body position is very nice and I like what I see so far.

Tomorrow there is a birthday party at the gym after practice and all the team girls are invited. She is sore and tired tonight, but no doubt will have renewed enthusiasm in the morning, both for training and the party to follow!